Go With Your Gut

We've all had that "feeling". And we've all ignored it. Problem with that is that 9 times out of 10 we come to regret the latter.

I'm right there with you, though. I've always considered myself particularly (almost peculiarly) intuitive. Just flat able to read between the lines and predict behaviors and outcomes. My husband hates it, because it inevitably results in him uttering those three little words that truly are the glue in any marriage: "You were right."

I can quote the excuse my son is going to give verbatim for not turning in an assignment before it escapes his lips. I can compose the response I'm going to get to an email before my in-box dings. I can correctly predict my level of service at dinner before my behind hits the chair at the table. My first impression of someone usually can tell me precisely what lies ahead in that relationship, even though we all have a tendency as humans to be 'more, better and different' than our regular selves when we first meet someone.

I am absolutely not excluding myself here. I'm not even faulting that behavior pattern, because I think it's part of our natural instinct. Not so much in that we consciously conceal our real persona in an attempt to defraud others, but that as we take that first step in a new relationship we're subconsciously tentative, maybe nervous or just cautious even, as to what we're ready and willing to share with that other person.

I'm not really shocked by how many times we blindly accept that surface impression as the real deal, but I am surprised that we reject our own gut instincts when they rear their heads or that worse yet we choose to ignore that friend who tells us what we need to hear (not what we want to hear) when they try their best to warn us that the path we're on is a somewhat dicey one. I know two things about myself in this regard: 1. If I do see the warning signs and I'm dismissing them, that person MUST be meeting some basic need I have in a way that makes me willing to overlook any negatives; 2. I am not able to admit that I did not already recognize there was a problem, because then I have to admit I let myself be deceived.

Whatever the reason, I've promised myself anew to actually listen and not shoot the messenger next time. And the next time someone you trust taps you on the shoulder and imparts politely that you might want to re-evaluate a situation or a certain someone in your life, do yourself a favor - instead of decking them first and asking questions later, ask yourself if you need to take a step back and look at things in a different light.